Intentions & Our Mistakes...

So I'm listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler.

It was random how it happened. But I am so glad I did. 

It is from his "The Village Church" sermon last Sunday titled" The Counterintuitive Life".

This is the link to it! It is worth the time to listen!  >>>http://www.thevillagechurch.net/resources/sermons/

His sermon is about man's depravity in the context of mans mindset. 

"The mindset of man thinks only of himself and thinks only of today" - was his major idea and quote.

His idea is that, (quote) that is inevitable. No matter what, we as human beings will do that.

FAST FORWARD >> As he was talking about how man only thinks of himself and how our minds are always only on the things of MAN, he used some examples to help illustrate it.

One of the examples that caught my attention had to do with young singles (obviiii lol) and how much we can see this depravity of man only thinking of himself by the way young singles act.

He first talked about the men, He says : "Young men with no respect for the soul or the emotions of a young women begin to flirt with no intentions of anything other than trying to get them to like you because they're an insecure little boy. No intention of pursuit for marriage no intention of being careful or cautious for their soul. Just, I'm insecure! Let me try to get you to like me and care for me so I can puff myself up at YOUR expense."

I can't say that I don't agree with this! The funny thing about this though is, Chandler is referring to "Young Evangelical Christians". Most of the time if you were to hear that quote, I know if I were to here it without Chandlers previous comments, I would think "oh yeah of course guys do that. Players and immature boys who don't live for the Lord".

But clearly here, He is talking about us. He is talking about men who love the Lord and are living for him. This makes it all the more dangerous and to me, all the more serious!

I always talk about this with my guy friends ( when the conversation comes up, im not some wacko freak) and they always disagree or have SOME type of counter argument. That's why I am just so happy Chandler understands.

There is NO possible way that flirting can be safe, or cute, or harmless if there are no intentions of marriage. Yes, literally marriage and that's it.

I truly believe it is one of the ways to open someones vulnerability, and to eventually open up their heart. Once you open up someone's heart, it is really hard to close it back without any strings attached. (Not impossible, just very difficult).

Just think about it. Have you flirted with anyone lately? Why were you doing it? Did you feel good about yourself after you did? Did you feel more confident? 

If you really ask yourself those questions and ponder the answers you might see what Chandler is talking about.

The sole purpose for flirting without intention is: YOURSELF.

Think about it.

As you do this, you're just opening doors, opening doors, opening doors and not even caring about closing them or leaving them open for anything to fly through. 

Now, Chandler didn't just give all the heat to the guys. He let the girls have it to. 

He says: "Ladies, you're part of the problem. Because, in your failure to trust and believe what God says about you and really has for you, you'll let them. -(Talks about living with cats and being lonely),blah blah blah-

 For your own good, young woman of God, please listen to me, they can't do it, if you don't let them! 

If they have no intention, why not find out early?

If they're the type of man who has not at all thought about the sacrifices necessary to love you, walk with you, encourage you in your walk with Jesus Christ and to lay down their life for you,  FIND OUT EARLY!"

Man oh man did that hit me!!

But not as much as what he said next did- "Your loneliness now, is monumentally better, than your loneliness with a man in the house who has no intention of loving and serving you like Christ loved the church. No intention of pouring out his life for you and your kids. Just wait!"

That is literally my biggest fear in marriage. Getting married to what seems like a godly man who is loving and caring and all that jazz, to eventually end up alone. Technically alone, you and your kids. Because the man is there, but not there mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. 

Thank the Lord for protecting me from feeling lonely in the context of a significant other ! But I still can relate to this because I know that waiting, rather than being anxious and trying to quicken the process will ONLY strengthen the reality of my fear coming to life... Which leads me to Chandlers next point...

"You can help the process of sanctification by being a women of God that says Christ IS enough for me, Christ DOES satisfy me, and sure, I'll have these longings that "He who finds a wife is a good thing" but its not the ultimate thing. Jesus is enough"

YES! Chandler! 

We play a part. It's a two way street! We can not only help the guys in their struggle but help ourselves and our loneliness and sadness and eagerness to be married. Because just as Chandler's central theme says, all those things (loneliness, sadness and eagerness to be married) all point back to us. All point back to how as humans all we think about is ourselves!

I think the most important thing to take away here is yes, It is important that both males and females take dating and relationships with each other seriously! It should never be non-chalant, dating for fun crap. If it's not intentional then dont do it.

But even more than that, we have to stop being so caught up in ourselves. Notice these things, notice how your flirting can literally break a girls heart, notice how you letting a guy date you for no reason breaks your own heart!. Most importantly notice the power of God and the Holy Spirit in your life, be aware of it!

Thats all I had to ramble about.

God Bless!